Tomas nehale

The shocking and disheartening news last week of an old man who arguably attempted to kill his wife and then hanged himself for infidelity left many hearts in a dark state. As a result, a wave of curiosity has crossed many minds as to why cases of passionate murder are escalating in Namibia.

Statistics indicate that nearly 35 women and girls die at the hands of their men each year due to murder of passion. If I may ask: what is wrong with Namibian men? What are the root causes of these barbaric acts? And, as a nation, how can we remedy these inhumane acts?

Money and material

The Bible clearly says that money is the root cause of all evil, and I pretty much agree with this Bible statement. These days, the love and stability of most relationships run deep in money and materials. I have observed that most of us do not know how to woo women with simple witty words. But, we go for shortcuts to honey, but bitter earth. I mean, we mostly try to involve money and material in our proposals. With money, we promise them heaven and earth. Like “if you’re mine, I’ll pay for your education; I’ll buy you a car; I’ll buy you a smart cell phone; I’ll pay your rent, etc. In other words, it suggests that most of these relationships do not arise from the heart or the soul, but from money and materials.

Make room for disappointment

I often tell people to apply the Japanese philosophy called “yin yang,” a circular symbol with white and black sections. He portrays that in every good there is evil, and also in every evil there is good. It is true that they say that love is blind. But don’t give it all away. I mean, don’t surrender every part of your existence to your partner. We must always cleverly leave room for disappointment in case things get bitter.

Probation

Probation doesn’t just apply to novice employers. But we should also reduce that to romantic relationships. As a man, give yourself plenty of time to judge and carefully examine every nook and cranny of your partner, before taking the risk. Be an observer. Know her behavior, her personality, what she likes and dislikes – and most importantly, her family and close friends. I know it’s very difficult to identify someone’s true character because women are good at pretending. In short, play your cards near the chest.

Emotional management

We should train our brains and hearts to get used to absorbing pain without fighting back or hurting your partner, no matter how much you love them or how much you spend on them. Before you murder him – what I would call “solving one problem with another problem” – try counseling yourself by rationalizing the whole situation. If your heart can’t take it, talk to someone you trust, go to social workers for psychosocial support, or go to religious institutions for courage and spiritual support. To cement my point, Malcolm X once said that “if you focus on the injuries, you will continue to suffer. If you focus on the lessons, you will continue to grow.

Parents’ involvement

Parents should always be vigilant, responsible and support their daughters before they fall into an affluent lifestyle. The world is changing, and Western culture is slowly but surely engulfing our societies too quickly, so much so that it is now eroding our African cultural norms.

Parents need to be extra vigilant when sending their daughters to school or college – they should be extra careful and support their daughters before they fall for the temptations and seductions of the contemporary world. These are, for example, the “hawks” of Golf and Benz who hyperbolically promise them heaven and earth. What these “hawks” do if the parents become irresponsible is that they take on the parental roles, for example by paying rental fees, and so on. Therefore, parents should deeply and constantly educate their children on the dos and don’ts of relationships today.

In conclusion, there are some things our ancestors did in the past that we don’t do today. Therefore, as a nation, we must look back and dig deep into the formulas and recipes that our ancestors used in their abusive, yet calming relationships. In my opinion, I suggest that the Ministry of Safety and Security issue “dating contracts” to young people so that parents know who their children are involved with. Such contracts would allow those who feel robbed or just want to get back what they spent on partners to do so through their families, rather than resorting to anger, rage and murder.

2021-11-22 Journalist

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